The Moment You Realize You’ve Reached “Older”

Like most young girls, I always dreamed of “when I’m older”. I couldn’t tell you the exact age that I started dreaming of my future, but I know that it was always something I thought about. Of course, I wanted to get married, buy a house, have children (at least 2), potentially a dog, maybe a cat, and definitely a good job.

Yesterday was my Hubby’s birthday, and like we do every year, we had one of those “how do you feel” conversations. Birthday’s are often a time of reflection, and now that we are in our early 30’s it seems incredibly surreal to talk about age. I truly don’t know how we got here…it’s like somehow the last 10 years have vanished because if you asked me how old I am, I feel like my mouth might blurt out 20 something… and not 30. It’s really bizarre to have such vivid memories of events that took place even in high school!! Parties, cafeteria chatter, summer jobs… all of these events feel like they took place only a few short years ago. Who knew, that time really does speed up as you get older?!? Kinda scary…

As each year passes, it’s hard not to look at your current situation and compare whether you’ve achieved what you expected to by this age. Truthfully, I thought I may have travelled a bit more by my early 30s… a trip a year – that was the plan. However, all things considered,  it became infinitely clear that I have reached “older”. It’s been almost 5 years of being married, we have two amazing children, a lovely home, two dogs, a cat, and jobs that pay the bills. We feel so incredibly blessed, and fortunate to have reached “older” in such good health and with such happiness. So now that we’ve checked off the boxes of what’s “older”, we can’t help but wonder – what’s next? I never thought about this as a young girl… it’s almost as if the family, career, home idea is what you envision, but what comes next is more or less a mystery. Obviously the family, career and home life doesn’t just end. It’s what you take with you into older hood (if that’s what you’ve wanted)…but after putting some thought into it, I’ve realized that the next step is much more deep. It requires some serious self reflection and understanding of where you’ve come from, and where you want to go. For me, this is only just the beginning of this phase.

I remember being told to enjoy being young, and adults saying they wish they could be young again. In some ways, I totally understand this – the responsibilities that come with being an adult can really take its toll sometimes. Would I want to go back? Perhaps at times – hell yeah. The truth is, I’m REALLY excited about the next 10 years! When I look back, it’s really evident that every stage of your life is a building block for what’s to come. I can see now how the life I had growing up has shaped me into who I am today; and how I’ll use every experience to create a foundation for the life that has yet to come.

It’s so easy to look back and consider how things might be just a bit different today if you did XYZ before… but I’m a BIG believer in the old adage “everything happens for a reason”. So while I have all of the fundamentals of what I had dreamed of, some of the finer details are a little off… I mean, I don’t live in a 3000 sq ft home, or work in a corner office of a high profile company – but, I’ve also learned that those are not the details that are important to me! What I do have is much more than I ever could have dreamed of, because we have health, happiness, and love that I didn’t even know existed!

Gauging by how quickly the last 10 years have gone, I can’t even fathom how fast the next 10 will go…. I plan to do my best to enjoy every single moment of it, and while doing so, continue to explore who I am, and where I want to go with this life. It’s always a journey, with different paths, obstacles, joys, tears, laughter and excitement. To my Love, who’s new year of life I am still celebrating today – I cannot wait to share every single one of these moments with You! Xoxo

 

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